It’s been a while since I’ve written—well, at least it feels that way. John Lennon was right: Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. Hence the tagline of this blog!
April has been kind of brutal for us. This weekend I’m recovering from some kind of tummy bug, which I NEVER get. As in, I can count on one hand the episodes in my lifetime. Blerg. BB#1 and his dad suffered through it last weekend. Really unfair since the weekend before that, BB#1 was out with a fever and sore throat. And the weekend before that, it was BB#2 with one of his periodic fevers (long, long story).
In between all this, I did a week of temporary work “outside the home”, which meant commuting, taking a lunch (ew!), and leaving my husband to handle the drop-offs/pick ups and dinner etc. Should have been fine; it was a week where BB#2 had three whole days of school (rare!), and on the days he wasn’t in school, we had arranged a playdate one day and a grandma visit the other. Then there were the usual weekly activities: Beavers, Cubs, swimming. Also a dentist appointment and after-hours meeting for my husband. Then add in BB#1 home recovering on the Monday, and BB#2 needing to be picked up early from school on the Friday…
All of this was a good reminder of how much more flexibility we have with a parent at home full-time (picking up occasional freelance work), and another parent who works from home (when he’s not travelling) than we would if we were both working full-time outside the home. Now, this is not feasible long term for a variety of reasons, but the experience did make us ask “how do other people do this?”, “how the heck did we do this before?” and “how are we going to do this again?”
When I returned to work after my first maternity leave ended, BB#1 was in daycare, and my husband and I staggered our hours. He dropped off while I picked up. It wasn’t too difficult, with just one child and one location to get to. After BB#2 came along, having one in school and daycare on alternate days (plus before and after care on school days), and the other in a different daycare (there was no option for them to attend the same centre based on their ages) was not going to work for us, especially when my husband was frequently away on business. I was not okay with them being in care from 7 am to 6 pm. So we had a nanny, something we never thought we’d consider. But it worked for us at that time. It gave us the flexibility we needed the days BB#1 didn’t go to kindergarten, or when one child was sick, or when I had to shovel out my car to be at my office for 8 am. We continued this arrangement when I left my job to return to school, but I’ve been home with the boys myself since I finished.
In September, BB#2 will be in school full-time. And I hope to be working outside the home again. Before and after care is lined up for the boys, just in case (if I’m fortunate enough to get work as a supply teacher, my start and end and commute times will vary). And while I know we are by no means unique, and even have it easier than many families (I bow down to all you single parents!), I still can’t help but worry about scrambling for care when someone is ill, or losing money when someone can’t work.
So you tell me, how DO you do it?